i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
