sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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