do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
