sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
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I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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