yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
