I think i sorta joined a cult last night
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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