Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
