they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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