um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
