how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
