We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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