she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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