im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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