I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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