i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
