four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
