She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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