My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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