Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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