just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize