I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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