dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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