you guys were way drunker than both of me
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
