Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
my poor anus
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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