you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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