threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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