Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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