You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
