Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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