I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
