I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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