Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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