yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
