remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
