i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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