You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
