i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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