I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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