If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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