also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Your dad touched me again.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
