You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
