Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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