The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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