That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
