Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
