why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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