You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and she was petting her beer can
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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