I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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