His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
