this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
