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• (972): View more from Texas

  like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys

  (214): View more from Texas

  I hope to god you are high

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  someone was throwing condoms at us.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  no, they just magically show up around you.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"

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• (296): View more from

  just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day

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• (951): View more from California

  YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS

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• (949): View more from California

  It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?

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