i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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