I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
