I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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