Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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