Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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