Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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