I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
