he thought i was a dude.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
