he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
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I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Let's get the cat blown out
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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