If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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