Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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