No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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