My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
