Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
