Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
